New Cabaret Classes

I started a new round of classes in AmCab style bellydance last evening with a new teacher.* Mirjana was offering both beginner and intermediate level classes Monday evenings and I agonized over the class for which I should register. At this point, I'm beyond hip slides and snake arms and would like some more varied material, but I'm extremely hesitant about considering myself an intermediate level dancer.

As there is no universal standard of what distinguishes a beginner from an intermediate level class (a class with one instructor could be much more challenging and involve such different material than one with another instructor) it is difficult to gauge where one might be properly situated within a certain teacher's curriculum unless you are already very familiar with it. I did not want to assume that I would have the skills and knowledge necessary for an intermediate class. To be honest, there is also the fear of overestimating my abilities and constantly embarrassing myself in front of more experienced dancers should I choose the higher level class. I'm reminded of a quotation which was posted on the cork board at the Tribal Bellies studio which, to paraphrase, says: "Beginning dancer: knows nothing & is willing to learn from anyone. Intermediate dancer: thinks she knows everything & only wants to learn from masters. Advanced dancer: realizes that there is always more to learn, is willing to dance with & learn from everyone." Although this is only a generalization, it definitely does hold some truth in my experience, and I do not wish to find myself in the middle category.

So I wrote to Mirjana, explained my dilemma, gave her some background on my previous classes, and asked which class would be more appropriate for me. She recommended the intermediate level so the decision was made, but the anguish was not over on my part. After actually registering for the classes I had nightmares akin to those I had prior to the first day of school. I realized how much I had been working myself up over the "intermediate" issue, beyond the conscious and into the subconscious level.

I arrived to class, which strangely enough is held in a building which was once my father's elementary school, very nervous and unsure of what to expect. The room where the class was held looked like it was converted into a wrestling practice space complete with thick, plastic-coated padding covering nearly the entirety of the floor. I wasn't really prepared for that and during class my bare feet kept sticking to it, but where the chalkboards once were are now large mirrors which is a plus. The class itself was not as intimidating as I had feared. Most things I picked up quickly however there were one or two things I struggled with, but that also seemed to be the case with the other students so I didn't feel hopelessly inferior. It's hard to make an assessment after just one class, but for the moment I'm glad to say that my fears were probably just an overreaction.

* A few months prior I was taking Cabaret classes with Suffiyah Monday evenings and was really enjoying them, but the person she was renting the space from apparently was months behind on paying his rent to the landlord and was subsequently evicted so we lost the studio space. A few weeks went by and no suitable alternative was found. Most of the other students were able to move to Wednesday nights which wasn't an option for me since my Tribal classes are that evening, so I've been on the lookout for other Cabaret on Monday classes.

Ruminations on Learning Tribal Style

I’ve come to the end of my 12 week session of Level 1.5 Tribal Bellydance, and I made the decision to retake it. Could I handle Level 2? Probably, but it likely would not be the smoothest of transitions and I would prefer to solidify the current Tribal vocabulary I have under my belt before being introduced to a new set of moves and variations. I knew going in that Tribal would not be easy, but not being personally familiar with the improvisational format meant that there are some aspects that I simply did not know how to anticipate.

There are many trains of thought which need to be harmonized in order to make this form of dance flow beautifully as it should, to make it seem to the unknowing observer like a choreographed piece. I imagine many of those separate threads become like second-nature in time, freeing the dancer to be more enveloped in the moment, responding almost subconsciously to the subtle cues of her fellow dancers and to the nuances of the music, but I’m not at that point yet. Right now those various trains of thought are on fairly distinct tracks and I have to make sure they keep pace with each other without colliding in a gory tangle. This is especially the case for me when leading. Keeping pace with the 8-count phrasing in the music and cueing appropriately, prying my brain for a different move to cue while not messing up the current one, paying attention to technique so the movement actually looks like it should be part of a dance and not a half-hearted aerobic routine, and desperately trying to keep my dyslexic tendencies* in check among other things is not an uncomplicated thing. I would love to hug the person who invented the masmoudi rhythm as being able to recognize it is extremely helpful with counting and cueing (that was a figurative statement, by the way. I realize that the specific person, or more likely persons, who "invented" the rhythm are lost to the sands of time).

And yet, even with the slight panic caused by attempting to keep all those trains on track, it’s bizarrely enjoyable and invigorating. Gods know, I need the exercise too.

* Although I’ve never actually been diagnosed, after doing some research it seems pretty clear to me that I have dycalculia or something closely related (www.as.wvu.edu/~scidis/dyscalcula.html, www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyscalculia). I have always had difficulty with basic arithmetic and mental math skills like addition, subtraction, etc., yet I did very well in my math and science classes (I was even given an award in High School for outstanding performance in my Probability & Statistics class). From a very young age I also have had serious trouble confusing my left and right (don’t ask me to give you directions) and writing letters backwards; I had to have a paper with the alphabet taped to my desk early in elementary school to help me remember which way letters and numbers properly faced, and I still sometimes find myself staring at the numbers 3 or 7 and the letter z perplexed, feeling that they should face in the opposite direction. It also takes me an inordinate amount of time to read an analog clock, and asking me to give someone change in a monetary transaction is pure torture. I get easily disoriented in places I’m not familiar with (and sometimes in places I know) which makes me mortally afraid to drive to places I’ve never been to before, even with a map. Alas, I also have difficulty with following and imitating a series of movements, especially when mirrors are involved, which can make learning to dance very challenging. That, along with my distaste for the music, was why I only took ballet for about a month or so when I was very young. When I could mimic the teacher, it was usually in a backwards fashion. Thankfully I've been blessed with a number of great bellydance teachers who can manage to teach a bass-ackwards person such as myself.

Unmata Workshops & Belly Jam

Amy Sigil of Unmata kicked my ass this past weekend. I knew this was going to be the case, and I knew that as a "baby dancer" (I hope at this point I'm more like a toddler dancer and less like an infant one!) I was probably in way over my head taking two Unmata workshops, but the opportunity doesn't present itself every day so I figured I would take the workshops despite my shortcomings. If I could learn something from the workshops, then it would be worth it to me. Seeing Unmata perform live at the Hipnosis Belly Jam the day prior really heightened my own apprehensions though. They have some amazing endurance to keep up such fast-paced, intense dancing for so many songs on end.

I got to the first workshop on Sunday about 10 minutes late due to traffic. I felt really bad about it, not only because I was missing the class, but because I did not want to seem disrespectful to the instructor or other dancers. I tried to slip in as quietly as possbile so not to disturb anyone. Unfortunately, the music was so loud that I could barely hear Amy over it; most of the time it was just watching and imitating her movements as best as I could. When the music was not playing, I could hear her just fine, so it wasn't an issue with her volume or my position in the room. I was exhausted after the first session, practically decimated after the second, and it was not helpful that the studio where the workshops were taking place had large windows which overlooked a tranquil indoor pool below. Even with the profuse sweating and post-workshop aches though, it was very enjoyable and it provided a unique perspective on fusion bellydance. I don't plan on trying to utilize the exact combinations we were taught (not that I can remember them in their entirety) but I will definitely be trying to apply some of the principles from Unmata's combination construction to my own experiments.

The evening before was a BellyJam hosted by Hipnosis at the same location as the workshops, the B&R Fitness Club in Feasterville. I was not expecting it to be such a large, highly-organized gathering - it was like a mini-Rakkasah! I was really impressed and enjoyed all of the performances. Hipnosis and their student troupes Daughters of the Hip and Tribal Spirit performed, of course, but there were also solos by out-of-state dancers like Tempest and Belladonna and other great troupes like Fringe Benefit (bad website, great dancers) of New Jersey who danced to "These Boots Are Made for Walking". The final act was Unmata, and as I mentioned previously, it was an extremely high-energy, charismatic performance. I am really looking foreword to the next one!

Humility, New Beginnings, and Dance

I feel that cultivating a sense of humility is important. By humility, I am referring to its definition in being unpretending, unpretentious, not arrogant rather than to self-abasement, humiliation, and being deemed low in importance or status. The sense in which I am utilizing the word is perhaps closer to its etymological origins in the Latin humilis which literally means "on the ground." Humilis was in turn evidently derived from humus or "earth." There was a time when I felt this so strongly that I was blind to my own virtues and found that nothing I was capable of doing was of any worth (i.e. the negative aspects of humility as listed above). Needless to say, it was a period in my life where I was wading through a deep depression. Thankfully, those times have past and I can acknowledge some of my strengths and feel fulfilled in my work, however, I still believe that it is dangerous to become complacent. To be smug and overly self-assured is to invoke a type of blindness, a sort of sensual suicide, which I feel is antithetical to the soul of Art. If you don't realize that you are capable of improvement and are closed to the ever-unfolding world, you are likely not to improve and just stagnate in your current position.

Humility, in my own view, is highly associated with sensitivity. Being humble indicates an openness and a willingness to accept new information and reevaluate what you think you know. In a previous incarnation of this blog, I included the statement "sensitivity is a double-edged blade" in a prominent position because I believe that phrase encapsulates something significant about myself and my own understanding. It's not a coincidence that the parts of our bodies through which we receive the most sensation are also the most delicate: our eyes, ears, tongues, the soft tissues of our fingertips and erogenous zones. What allows us to experience a world of sound is a fragile membrane. It will vibrate with the low purr of a bow being drawn across a cello's string, but it is easily ruptured.

Man is not to be an intellectual porcupine, meeting his environment with a surface of spikes. Man meets the world outside with soft skin, with a delicate eyeball and eardrum, and finds communion with it through warm, melting, vaguely defined, and caressing touch whereby the world is not set at a distance like an enemy to be shot, but embraced to become one flesh, like a beloved wife. After all, the whole possibility of clear knowledge depends upon sensitive organs which, as it were, bring the outside world into our bodies, and give us knowledge in the form of our own bodily states.¹

To be sensitive to beauty and pleasure is to be sensitive to ugliness and pain. "Is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knifes?²" Humility and sensitivity thus inherently involve vulnerability, to understand and be aware that there is a risk involved in honestly encountering the world, including oneself and one's own skills.

In my estimation, one of the best ways to keep humility intact is to try something new, to accept the profound task of being a beginner again. Dance is such an endeavor for me. Although I've now been studying bellydance in various forms for about two years and apparently have at least some of the basics down, the nature of my personal journey in learning to dance is a constant revelation. My only previous experience in dance was about a month's worth of ballet classes in kindergarten or thereabouts, and though I attended but handful of social "dances" in middle school, I was far too self-conscious to do more than tap my feet along with the music. Bellydance has given me a sumptuous vocabulary of movement for expression, and in that way has increased my self-confidence, but at the same time it offers a humbling perspective on my whole Art practice. I have always found that you cannot truly comprehend the distance exceptional artists have traveled without setting foot on the path yourself, and I think this is why non-artists sometimes easily dismiss good (and often deceptively simple) work by claiming "even I could do that!"

I attended a Girls' Night Out Halfa with my current bellydance teacher back on May 2nd which took place at the Casablanca Moroccan restaurant in Warrington, PA. There were two bellydancers, one female and one male, providing the entertainment that night, Matika and Omar {photos of these dancers and the event can be found on my Flickr page}. At one point after standing up to tuck a tip in Matika's bejeweled belt, I actually danced for perhaps a minute or so in front of an entire room full of people, including my mom who I had brought along with me. For that brief flash of time, it was just the music and the dance and I was so totally enveloped that self-consciousness was not an issue. Of course, when I realized that I was not self-conscious I immediately became self-conscious and went to sit back down. I now have a better appreciation of what it must take to allow yourself to be one with the music and movement, engage the audience, and continue in spite of a welling of self-doubt. I am reminded of how far I have come as an artist and human being, and acutely aware of how far there is yet to go.

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Footnotes and Bibliography

1) Watts, Alan. Nature, Man, and Woman. New York: Vintage Books, 1958. 81.
2) Gibran, Kahlil. The Prophet. Sydney, Australia: Phone Media. 29. ISBN 0-646-26642-X.

Catching Up

There have been lots of upheavals and a handful of pleasant things to occur in my personal life over the past year or so, notably a tattoo apprenticeship that sadly had to be left by the wayside (not of my own choosing), moving into my first apartment, taking lessons on the Celtic harp, seeing my artwork appear on a book cover, and a very hectic few months at my full-time day job. I've already modified my profile to reflect some of these changes. My physical appearance has also been altered in that time. I now have a large tattoo of a traditional Japanese woodblock print depicting a geisha reading a scroll on my left lower leg, a cherry blossom on my right ankle which I tattooed on myself, and I have had my septum, navel, and upper cartilage pierced (I have had my left nostril pierced since 2002).

In that time I was unable to continue with my belly dance classes as my schedule was already brimming with other obligations, and my body and soul missed them sorely. I continued to study on my own, of course, but as one of the few things in my life that fills me with such delight, it deserves a more significant part of my life. Thankfully, I now have the time to devote to taking classes again and I jumped back in as soon as I was able. I had been taking classes with Simone at Cloud Hands in Ottsville for at least six months straight in 2006. A few months prior to that I was learning on my own with the aid of DVDs, books, and the internet. I used to live within a ten minute drive of Cloud Hands, but two months ago I moved from the Quakertown area to Sellersville, so I was looking for something a bit closer. Fitness Plus in Perkasie seemed to be the answer. Their website indicates that Simone would be teaching classes there, but when I called to register, apparently this is no longer the case (their website still hasn't been appropriately updated). So I signed up for classes with Shoaleh, and started two weeks ago.

It's interesting to compare the way two different teachers approach similar movements. Actually, I think it is beneficial to see their different modes of teaching snake arms among other things. The class I am taking currently is for beginners, so there is going to be a great deal of review for me, but it's always good to brush up on the basics again. I was a bit embarrassed during the first class when Shoaleh had me demonstrate some of the techniques in front of the class though, but since I'm pretty serious about belly dancing, I guess I'll have to get over dancing in front of others!

I really want to take some classes in American Tribal Style, but the closest place I can find, Hipnosis Studio, to learn is a good 45 minute drive away, and I would have to wait for their new sessions to start which I think will be early May. If they offer classes in their next session which would coincide with my days off, I think I'm going to take the plunge and sign up for them, despite obscene gas prices and my dislike of commuting. FatChanceBellyDance offers some DVDs, but I find that it's preferable to learn from a teacher directly if at all possible.

On to the Halfa!
Yesterday I had the pleasure of attending a halfa hosted by Suffiya of Dancers' Oasis at Casablanca Restaurant in Warrington, PA. I had a great time, and it's been so long since I've eaten there. The food, as usual, was delicious (my favorite courses are the first three: hummus, baba ganouj, the salads, and the B'stilla. I think those constitute whole meal!), and we were entertained by five different dancers instead of the usual single dancer. Suffiya herself performed both before and after the meal. She danced with various props including zils, Isis wings, and a saber. I've included a photo of Suffiya dancing with these awesome fan/veil thingies which I covet. They moved like liquid fire and were really expressive. Must get a pair for myself! I generally am not a huge fan (no pun intended!) of props, but those fan/veils were fantastic (again, no pun intended).

In between, four of the dancers of the Dancers' Oasis troupe did solos and a group performance (I didn't keep the program, so unfortunately I do not have their names offhand). I was only able to get photos of Suffiya since I was too occupied stuffing my face to grab a camera for the other performances! Three of the other four dancers danced to some interesting contemporary American music including selections from Fleetwood Mac, Justin Timberlake, and the Violent Femmes. The Fleetwood Mac piece was a veil number which was okay as far as veil dances go. The dancer really looked the Steve Nick's part though. The Justin Timberlake piece was actually really well done, and I enjoyed it enough for it to offset my internal cringe at the subject of Justin Timberlake ;-) The fourth dancer used a more traditional, Middle Eastern music selection, and despite encountering some technical difficulties at first with the sound system, she did a beautiful, slower piece. All in all, it was a fun time. I look foreword to returning to Casablanca for a girls' night out with Shoaleh! I have two more photos from this halfa at this location.